Discussing Pakistan's selection decisions always seems to be a good way to a punchline, but when they select cricketers who are undead, how can the opportunity not be taken?
You may quibble with the idea that Mohammad Sami could possibly be a zombie, but I would ask you to first look at the evidence.
Zombies are notoriously aggressive, to the point of single-mindedness. Anyone who has watched Mohammad Sami bowl can confirm that yes, he is an aggressive bowler and yes, he can be fairly single-mindedness. That mind is to take wickets, and the runs expended getting those wickets is an afterthought, if it comes to mind at all.
Zombies use very basic attacks. Sami, too, uses the most basic attack in a bowler's arsenal: pace. He doesn't really do anything else. Cricinfo states his bowling style as 'right-arm fast'. For someone like Dale Steyn, this doesn't really convey the immense skill involved in their bowling. But for Sami? It's more or less perfect. He uses his right arm, and he bowls fast. That's it.
Zombies cannot feel pain. If Mohammad Sami has ever actually been injured and/or unfit, he doesn't show it. Compared to his teammates, Sami has always been a man of superb fitness, able to deliver long spells at pace and not break down. Some may attribute this to a fitness regime, but we know better.
And above all, zombies cannot die. At this point it seems that Sami, too, cannot die, as, having spent a number of years in the land of the living, he died in 2007 (cause of death: Indian Cricket League syndrome), and has now staged three comebacks, each as ineffectual as the last. Given he is meant to be 34 years old, he could still come back twice more before anyone else notices that something is wrong.
As for how he keeps getting selected...well, one can only assume that the selectors went to have a chat with him, and he responded by eating their brains.
So here's to you, Mohammad Sami, bowler of the undead. May you make unusual comebacks for years to come.
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