With the
Cricket World Cup upon us, there are countless previews out there
online and in print. But in this all too fast world of ours, who has
time to read those wordy, well-though out previews? Instead, let me
offer you this easy to understand, quick to read guide that will tell
you everything you need to know about the longest sports tournament
ever. Please note there are three teams listed as making the final,
and five as making the quarters. This is because they are impossible
to split.
Afghanistan
Batting: Flaky
Bowling: Match-winning
Fielding: Poor
Position: Group
Australia
Batting:
Good
Bowling:
Good
Fielding:
Good
Position:
Final
Bangladesh
Batting: Confused
Bowling: Spinning
Fielding: Okay
Position: Group
England
Batting:
Prepared
Bowling:
One-paced
Fielding:
Fine
Position:
Quarters
India
Batting:
Uncomfortable
Bowling:
Thumped
Fielding:
Hmm
Position:
Quarters
Ireland
Batting:
Starters
Bowling:
Promising
Fielding:
Acceptable
Position:
Quarters
New
Zealand
Batting:
Striking
Bowling:
Watchable
Fielding:
Sure
Position:
Final
Pakistan
Batting: Misbahesque
Bowling: Lacking
Fielding: Eh
Position: Quarters
Scotland
Batting:
Learning
Bowling:
Surprise
Fielding:
Yes
Position:
Group
South
Africa
Batting:
Wow
Bowling:
4/5
Fielding:
Proven
Position:
Final
Sri
Lanka
Batting:
Top-heavy
Bowling:
Heralinga
Fielding:
Affirmative
Position:
Quarters
United
Arab Emirates
Batting:
Tries
Bowling:
No
Fielding:
Exists
Position:
Group
West
Indies
Batting:
Careless
Bowling:
Demoralised
Fielding:
Athletic
Position:
Group
Zimbabwe
Batting:
Possibly
Bowling:
Hopeful
Fielding:
Re-energised
Position:
Group
In a decade six weeks from now, once the tournament finally finishes, we will know how accurate these words are.
But if we're wrong, we won't post a correction, because who has time for that in today's world? Who cares? We can just say whatever we like without any consequences, because that's how the media works, right?
Right?
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